“We try to fix things that are not ours to fix, it’s theirs to fix. [You] have everything within you to do what needs to be done, it’s just a matter of finding it and tapping into it and building on it.” — Dr. Denise Ernst
Bio
Dr. Denise Ernst is a psychologist whose research and teaching centers around a counseling method called Motivational Interviewing. This method helps people find the internal motivation they need to change their behavior, and thus their life. It is a practical, empathetic, strengths-based approach that takes into consideration how difficult it can be to make life changes.
Highlights
In this episode, we discuss:
1) How everyone is the expert on their own life (even when they don’t feel like it)
2) How being vulnerable with others feels threatening to our personal safety (even when it isn’t)
3) How to be supportive of someone without being weighed down by what they’re going through
4) Why listening isn’t prioritized as a skill in our culture (even in professional counseling programs)
5) What it means to be a “pathological optimist”
Behind The Scenes
I’ve been testing the waters of the psychology field, taking courses and becoming certified in different methodologies while I decide whether or not to go back to school full time. So I met Denise at her class at Portland State University, where she taught on this concept of Motivational Interviewing.
I’m particularly drawn to this counseling approach because of the connection between emotion and motivation. So often I’ve said something like, “I just need to get motivated, then I’ll start” — and yet the change I’m trying to create in my life doesn’t doesn’t stick, or never happens.
One of the recurring questions that keeps coming up on this show is “If we say want something or know we need to change, then why don’t we do it?” This question is what the method of Motivational Interviewing addresses.
Who Should Listen?
- If you know you need a change but you’re feeling unmotivated or incapable to see it through…
- If you’re unsure of how to support someone else in your life without feeling weighed down by their personal struggle…
- If you’re craving richer, more authentic relationships and conversations, but vulnerability feels daunting…